Catherine Hayden Obituary

Catherine Devine Hayden
Catherine Devine Hayden ("Kitty" to all) died peacefully on December 6, 2024, in her home in Wilton, Connecticut where she lived for over fifty years, creating a haven of warmth and beauty for her family and friends.
Born in 1931, Kitty was the youngest of a family of seven children, whose parents, James and Frances Devine, had migrated from the small city of Clarksburg, West Virginia to New York City and East Hampton. She was a graduate of Westover School and attended Finch College.
After a brief marriage to Neil A. McConnell, and a short period as a glamorous young mother and model in 1950's New York, her life went in a new direction when she met Sterling Hayden, actor and author. They met on a blind date in New York when he was taping a live television production of Ethan Frome and married three weeks later. Kitty plunged into a new life in the San Francisco Bay area, managing a household of five children (her son Scott, and Sterling's four children, soon followed by the birth of Andrew and David). Much of her next decade was taken up with organizing the cross-country and cross-Atlantic moves initiated by the restless Sterling, until she settled in Wilton in 1968, where her brother and sister had made their homes.
After Sterling's death in 1986, Kitty was involved in curating his papers for an archive at Boston University. She kept up a rigorous devotion to healthy food and exercise, supported her grown children and grandchildren in many ways, and enjoyed cooking, reading and gardening.
Known for her high-spirited energy, always elegant whether out on the town or in the woods of Wilton, sharp and sophisticated while warm and down-to-earth, worldly and experienced yet roll-up-your sleeves practical, Kitty was an anchor for the many people who loved her and will be missed every day.
She is survived by her sons, Scott McConnell (Margaret), Andrew Hayden (Sarah), and David Hayden (Soraya) and her adored stepdaughter, Gretchen Hayden Ruckert (George), four grandchildren, and six great-grandchildren.